You know, funny story: There’s this craft store called Michaels. Look, my sister knits, and she goes to Michaels. So my sister called me and she’s like, “Oh my god, I’m at Michaels, picking up yarn. You have a poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “What?” She’s like, “There’s a poster, there’s a Falcon poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “Holy s**t!” She’s like, “I’m gonna come and pick you up, and we’re gonna see your poster in this store.” So she picks me up and we go to Michaels.
We go in, and I see the poster and I’m like, “Oh, this is….” She’s like, “I know, I know.” I said, “I’m gonna sign these posters.” I was like, “That would be amazing, you buy a poster and it’s like, actually signed by the Falcon.” Like, it would blow my mind. So I go to the front, I buy a Sharpie, I run back to the back of the store. And she’s like, “I’m gonna take a picture of you signing it.”
I’m in this store and I’m signing all the posters. The manager comes out, he’s like, “Hey, whatcha doing?” I was like, “Oh man, I’m signing these posters so when people buy ‘em, they’re signed.” He’s like, “Well, people are not gonna buy ‘em if they’re signed.” And I was like, “No, no, no, it’s cool. I’m pretty sure there won’t be a problem.” And he goes, “Yeah, but it is gonna be a problem, you’re messin’ up my inventory.” And I’m like, “No, my man, trust me. I mean, I’m the Falcon, that’s me!” And he goes, “Yeah, right. You’re gonna buy those posters.” I said, “What?” He’s like, “You’re gonna buy all those posters or I’m gonna call the police.”
He rolls up all the posters and goes to the front of the store. And I had to buy like 60 Falcon posters that I signed in Michaels.
”—Anthony Mackie getting in trouble for signing his posters at a Micheals (x)
“The first thing I noticed on my first day on the job is that in retail no one sits. Ever. It didn’t matter if it was at the beginning of my shift, if the store was empty, or if my knees, back, and feet ached from hours of standing. Park your behind while on the clock, went the unspoken rule, and you might find it on a park bench scanning the want-ads for a new job. Another quick observation: Working in retail takes more skill than just selling stuff. Besides the mindless tasks one expects—folding, stacking, sorting, fetching things for customers—I frequently had to tackle a series of housekeeping chores that Stretch never mentioned in our welcome-aboard chat. Performed during the late shift, those chores usually meant I’d have to stay well past the scheduled 9 p.m. quitting time. Mop the floors in the bathroom, replace the toilet paper and scrub the toilets if necessary. Vacuum. Empty the garbage. Wipe down the glass front doors, every night, even if they don’t really need it. It was all part of the job, done after your shift has ended but without overtime pay.”—
Retail can be fucking brutal physically and mentally. But because it never, ever lets up, I eventually got so used to it that I didn’t fully realize just how much of a toll my retail job had taken on me until I had to quit and suddenly I just felt SO MUCH BETTER ALL OF THE TIME.
So it’s time for the LIST OF SHAME and SENSE OF FINANCIAL DREAD and KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT A DEGENERATE I AM etc
All-New Ghost Rider (this is SO GOOD I need to write about it soon; really strongly urge everyone to pick it up if you like FEELS and FAST CARS and CUTE BOYS and possibly CUTE BOYS GETTING THE STUFFING BEATEN OUT OF THEM and then TURNING INTO VENGEANCE SPIRITS and who amongst us does not?)
All-New Ultimates (haven’t read this yet but Miles Morales)
All-New X-Men (Stuart Immonen 4 lief)
Avengers Undercover (have only read the first one but rly like this, very Vengeance)
Avengers A.I (I KNOW IT’S NOT ONGOING ANYMORE AND I BLAME EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU)
Black Widow (god this is SO GOOD)
Captain Marvel (altho I don’t like it as much as other people seem to?
Grauniads of the Galaxy (Sara Picheli and the Stop Making Me Fancy A Raccoon Jesus Fuck)
Iron Patriot (really promising so far, I am super big on Rhodey)
Loki: Agent of Hot-ass
Magneto: Agent of Man Angst
Mighty Avengers (this is GRATE, I must write about it)
Moon Knight (don’t usually like Warren Ellis, LOVE this probably due to the art being amazing)
Ms Marvel (every word of the praise heaped on this is deserved)
New Warriors (ok, the incredibly casual dispatching of the Stamford incident aside, this is FANTASTIC, again I should write about it- has a lot of the high-octane milkshake element of Young Avengers)
Nightcrawler (might drop it? I have an unusual level of ‘meh’ about Kurt)
Origin II (again, obvs)
Secret Avengers (oh my GOD this is so great since the new #1! If you’re missing Avengers Assemble or …ok, it’s about the most Tumblr thing I ever read and I don’t want to spoiler but it’s just… buy it, you will like it, I promise)
She-Hulk (I love this a great deal, it is a great look for Jen- the art vaguely reminds me of Archigram and the story is exactly the right mix of comedy and uh, punching. With emotions.)
Silver Surfer (Mike Allred could draw toilets and I’d buy them but this is also GREAT so that’s good)
Uncanny X-Men (Scotttttt also Emmmmaaaa and my unending tears about their lack of togetherness)
What If? Age of Ultron (I hate me!)
Winter Soldier: The Bitter March (ugh, this broke my Remender-free 2014 but at least I haven’t had an Uncanny Avengers relapse so I might let myself get Black Science, too)
Wolverine and the X-Men
X-Force (SO GOOD; I would buy any book with Psylocke and Fantomex but Si is doing STONKING work here- violent and funny and emotional to exactly the right degrees)
Loki: Ragnarok & Roll (this is… not great, I started buying it as morbid curiosity and yet here we are)
Anything I’m missing that’s good? Might as well, I mean, while I’m buying everything on Comixology *hangs head*
Imagine the Young Avengers seeing The Winter Soldier. Teddy and Billy bring their Stucky rec list for afterwards, America spends the entire thing adrenaline-grinning and then unexpectedly bursts into tears when Natasha releases the information, which no one dares mention to her ever, Kate unashamedly ogles everyone and keeps NUDGING David who is having emotions about Sam and getting back on the superhero horse and then there’s Tommy and Noh-Varr crying at first stoically and behind their 3D glasses, then openly and clutching each other during the mind wipe scene and Kate hissing about trigger warnings at Billy and and and
I went to see my GP today about Bad Hand. Bad Hand remains resolutely fucked. A week ago I would have been asking for a referral to the Hand Clinic to get immediately fitted with a cyborg fist.
But the thing is. I work for a neurological charity and as much as I may look it, I’m not fucking stupid. When the doctor in A&E said ‘palsy’ a howling klaxon not unlike the Helvetica Scenario went off in my head. Because. I had been wondering.
Disclaimer: I have been trying to write this for almost a year and I’m tremendously dissatisfied with the result. It is three and a half thousand words long and has been drafted and revised so many times that I give up and release it from this endless, painful gestation.
I have never owned a table.
Sure, the place I live in has a table. It’s a glass table and it’s considerably better than the slightly wobbly wooden table in the previous place I lived in but, being glass, I’m perpetually terrified it will break and then I’ll have to pay for it. Then I’ll have paid for a table and still never have actually owned one.
I couldn’t tell you how much a table costs, but I did buy the cheapest and most basic desk for £50 once. I have a feeling I’d be charged a lot more than that if this table broke.
That philosophy extends to everything around me where I live, where I have lived: I don’t own it, but I will be paying for it if something goes wrong. There is a special sort of added excitement to this, since most of the places I’ve lived in have had all sorts of things wrong with them already, things from faulty electrics to ill-fitting windows to no doors that will close properly anywhere, that are never addressed. I’ve feared these things as well because I’ve wondered if I’m going to be the tenant who is deemed to be responsible for them, particularly because landladies and landlords seem to be curiously divorced from the properties they own. They always live far away, or they’re out of town or they’re overseas again. One landlady looked around a flat I was renting from her with surprise and awe and bafflement, failing to recognise many of its features.
Fervently offering futile requests to any higher power that might have the capacity to do something about it that I don’t have the condition I work at a charity for is, what, a solid 4 on the special hell scale?
“In social justice, there’s this absurd meme (that I’ve been guilty of myself) is that we are the “voice for the voiceless,” but that’s not right. The oppressed are not voiceless – they’re just not being listened to.”—
“When I first got this role I just cried like a baby because I was like, “Wow, next Halloween, I’m gonna open the door and there’s gonna be a little kid dressed as the Falcon.” That’s the thing that always gets me. I feel like everybody deserves that. I feel like there should be a Latino superhero. Scarlett does great representation for all the other girls, but there should be a Wonder Woman movie. I don’t care if they make 20 bucks, if there’s a movie you’re gonna lose money on, make it Wonder Woman. You know what I mean, ’cause little girls deserve that.”—Anthony Mackie (via rexilla)